random spout

We live in a world often clouded by self-consumption. We forget that somewhere women are not heard. Women in Afghanistan are setting themselves on fire to escape the pain of being silenced. In Darfur, people are barely surviving, dying at the hands of civil war and curable illness. Everywhere in the world, homosexuals are treated as outcasts. In North Korea, people are starving. In a hospital someone is taking their last breath. We walk by a stranger and never say hello. We never ask a server how their day is going. We never look at the homeless person and think “maybe they’re happier here”. We are so caught up. So consumed with assumptions.

In this world, we tend to wake up and never remember how fortunate we are to be taking a breath. It is so very simple. I once wrote a blog about accepting that we are all a beautiful mess. In that blog I had hoped to remind all of us that we are flawed and messy but it doesn’t mean we aren’t of value. However, it doesn’t hurt to realize in some way, most of us possess some beautiful characteristic. This season is very hard for a lot of people including myself. Not having a spouse or someone to share it with is not the easiest of things - but I do have a child. That is the wake up call I need every second of every day. I look at her and I see the future. I see that there is nothing but possibility. There cannot be such suffering in this world. It cannot be about me or you, it has to be about everyone. We are a collective unit - this world.

I recently wrote that I fear we have become too familiar with apathy. All of us. That beautiful notion of empathy seems so distant. Before I go on, I just want to clarify the actual definition of both:

Definition of APATHY (per Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

1

: lack of feeling or emotion : impassiveness

2

: lack of interest or concern : indifference

1

: the imaginative projection of a subjective state into an object so that the object appears to be infused with it

2

: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this

 I talk to people every day who cannot relate to anyone else’s pain or suffering. It’s honestly disturbing. They crave attention for themselves and so everything is about them. We have all been there and have done it. BUT - how can you read a story about hate crimes or child predators or people dying in the name of justice and not feel that pang in your heart? How can you know children are dying of cancer and not feel like there’s got to be something you can do? I know a number of people who won’t do volunteer work because it’s not worth their time unless they get some sort of notoriety from it or get a tax write-off. “Giving” is not so you can tell people you “gave”. All that makes you is self-involved. Regardless. Sometimes we need the intention behind our actions to be noble.

I encourage all of you start practicing empathy. As simple as knowing someone is hurting from a breakup or the loss of someone they love or hearing a loved one is sick or passing. We get caught up in the drama of every day b.s. and that is precisely what it is: b.s.

When is the last time you did something for someone else WITHOUT expecting anything in return? Try it. You might actually begin to associate with Dr. Seuss’ Grinch when Cindy Lou-Who showed him some kindness and the Who’s down in Whoville sang even when all of the presents and Christmas goodies were gone. We all need a little bit of that kindness and goodness but moreso, we need to begin to treat others with that kind of decency and respect. So, here’s to your hearts growing TEN times its size! Here’s to us becoming empathetic again. Do something for someone to show you care, not because it’s your obligation.