Nov 12, 2010

VideoBlog #7 - Kill them with Kindness

post by dawn garcia | Labels: , , , , , , , , , , ,

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.~Herm Albright


I did another video blog and while the tone is fairly upbeat and optimistic, I just want to say - rather admit - that my eternal optimism is my core, but NOT because my life has been sunshine and roses. One day I will write about the things I have experienced. But I'm not there just yet. We are all exposed to something. 2 out of 3 women are sexually assaulted, some never have a chance to even speak; violence breaks out in countries that steals the innocence away from those who never saw it coming; people hurt with words; some with physical fury. But life doesn't have to be that way. It doesn't have to be so riddled with anguish. Don't assume you know what any one person has gone through. Practice empathy but don't use your "situation" to excuse you from being a poor excuse of a human being. Be reminded - realize how much suffering there is in this world. BUT also own the fact that you don't need to contribute to it. Do everything you can to make it beautiful again. 


Blog
How many times has someone been ignored or misunderstood or put down by others who didn't take the time to know them? It happens all of the time. People judging people, listening to the toxicity spewed by someone else, or making assumptions without getting the facts. I look at my child and I think, "I hope she is never made to feel bad about who she is". I hope the world she lives in is without judgment but I know that's not possible. I've certainly judged people at one point or another, and made assumptions, but I'm not proud of that nor do I make it a habit. Some people do. 

I am a writer, which, yes, I realize is pretty clear. But as a writer I have a tremendous responsibility. I also often sit back and observe as part of my "job". I have conversations and make assessments and watch body language. The fears, the insecurities, the ones who think they hold some secret power. The ones that do have power. I have watched as the world around me gets lost in self-obsession rather than striving for empathetic unity.

My life is often brimming with sunshine because when I'm having a hard day or feel a little defeated, somehow that's the exact time my 3 year-old looks at me and says, "You're the bestest mommy ever. I love you all the way to moon and the sun and around the earth and back" and I realize no one can even come close. Nothing can make my life have more meaning. Well, maybe Mr. Big can add to that. But the point is, I can't let those outside influences change the core of who I am. I'm a good and giving person. I don't put up with your crap if you give it and will not allow you to treat me disrespectfully or pretend to be my friend only to take advantage of me. I also want to mention it doesn't make you the bigger person when you berate someone and then immediately follow it up with a compliment. It doesn't work that way. In fact, when you do that it makes you an even less genuine person --- being genuine, being strong, means you have balance. I had lunch with a very strong, smart woman today and we discussed the misuse of ones strength and how often (and how crazy) a lot of people can be when they think they're strong because they can be mean. It's absurd and in the end, those are the people that, in the quiet moments, are utterly alone. I am not alone. I am loved. I have extraordinary people in my life. People I have met that are artists from around the world that have given me such joy, such courage, such encouragement; People I have crossed paths with only to see that beauty is about the soul, not the facade. Friends that I have known most of my life, some I have only known for a short while. All have taught me more than words can express. I have seen love - unconditional love - and that is empowering.

I am grateful for the exceptional people in my life; For the tremendous opportunities I have been given; For the artists that inspire me; For the life that I get to nurture and embrace every day; For the true value of integrity. So if I don't say it enough, thank you.

Subscribe