(To the one who was hurt by my openness and honesty in the blog below, I'm sorry. In the end though, it seems this time, the timing just wasn't right. I hope some day we'll get it right...)
I want to believe that today is a new day and while every obvious element lends to that theory, somehow it feels a lot like a day I've experienced too many times before. Back up against the wall. It's time I see what is actually happening before me. Sometimes we see what we want to see not what is actually there. My heart has a mind of its own. It's often misleading and while it is beautiful, I think it is going to need a much better compass. Guess it's all about pointing in two directions: daughter and career. I foolishly added another arrow and fell really deep into its direction. It's no fun always being a secret. Always being in limbo. Sometimes you need clarification. So now we're back to two. Always two.
I want to believe that today is a new day and while every obvious element lends to that theory, somehow it feels a lot like a day I've experienced too many times before. Back up against the wall. It's time I see what is actually happening before me. Sometimes we see what we want to see not what is actually there. My heart has a mind of its own. It's often misleading and while it is beautiful, I think it is going to need a much better compass. Guess it's all about pointing in two directions: daughter and career. I foolishly added another arrow and fell really deep into its direction. It's no fun always being a secret. Always being in limbo. Sometimes you need clarification. So now we're back to two. Always two.
*I made a mistake. - I wrote this and never even gave the 3rd person a 2nd chance or a chance to explain. Emotion can be beautiful but acting on emotion can ruin something beautiful. Take your time, think before you speak. That's going to be my biggest lesson.
Lines from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind:
Joel: I can't see anything that I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: [pauses] Okay.
Clementine: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: [pauses] Okay.
The lyrics to this song below is my heart. Enjoy the music. It's exquisite:
