When things in life just seem to be incredibly overwhelming, I find that having a crazy mom yell to you to move because she has six thousand dollar wheels on her car and doesn't want to catch the curb is not the way to go. Thankfully, I replied "I'll guide you" to which she replied "get out of the way and move your car". This - at the pre-school WHILE her child is in the car. She continued at which point I replied "you are rude. You need to check your attitude and be a better example to your kid. Seriously lady, who cares about your tires". I felt better. It was trite but then, sadly, its par for the course - People behaving unexpectedly. Try divorce! Should you ever want to see who someone really is - go through divorce. The familiar person you once knew goes into deep cover and some new and unrecognizable person shows their face. It's scary and disheartening and well, truth be told utterly shocking. Yes all of a sudden respect is out the window and comments like "f-yourself" of "f-off" or "f-you" fly out of your soon-to-be-ex's mouth with reckless abandon. Oh well. Perhaps it's all the stress.
So instead of letting that halt me completely, I focus on the things that matter. As we all should. It's super easy to give in to that kind of behavior or to spout off everything you're thinking without censoring it but in the end, it's a waste AND it's immature. And no, I don't count ranting about it on a blog immature. I call that - therapy! So my point is, the only thing any one of us has control over is how we act and how that affects those we love. Not loathe. Love. My focus is my child and the life I will give her. A life full of possibility and love and strength and the proof that you CAN do anything you want and make it happen. Nothing is impossible. That little motto gets me through every single moment. So when I forget to breathe or think or find that I'm appalled by someone's behavior, I just have to be grateful it's not me acting a fool.
Life is so short and so fleeting and things happen and un-happen and you are happy or devastated or angry or hurt. Either way, they still happen. Ignoring the reality of your situation isn't a healthy option. Learning how to find yourself and create a life better than the one you've had so far, that's what is important. It's all up to you. Love, success, joy, family, certainty, confidence, all of it ... it's all up to you. You get what you put out so I say put out love and compassion and though I've found myself more than frustrated over the past few weeks, knowing what I'm doing and whom I'm doing this for is why it is all possible. I love my little one with every single ounce of my being and I will do anything and everything to give her the life and love she deserves.
Just remember, life is not planned. We're the planners. We can make it as wonderful or as miserable as we want. As for me, I really want happy ... I will have happy and so will my baby. That is the only thing I care most about. Love. Happiness. Joy. The success and everything else will come as a result. As someone said to me recently, there is fire behind my eyes. I won't just "let life happen TO me". I'm going to make it the most exquisite life imaginable.
