There is something to be said about a Sunday afternoon. The way the fall nips at our heels reminding us it's finally here or the simple pleasure of sipping a cup of tea. The wind is blowing ever so slight and the air has a newfound chill in it. Maybe this time, summer has finally gone into hibernation and we can have a break from the impenetrable heat that has melted away our spunk and the need to stay in bed "just a little longer". Yep, now we can slip under the covers and stay there until we're ready. My body is grateful. For someone who has had the luxury of living in Southern California all of her life, I have never been fond of summer. Sure, I like getting a little sun but then the gnawing voice in my head reminds me I'm milky white and I'll age faster than a leather tote. So I spray on the sunscreen and do what I can to cheat a little and get SOME color until Fall comes and being milky white is fashionable again. I say milky white because it sounds way better than fair or pale - both of which imply something undesirable and let's face it, pretty skin is WAY better than leathery and wrinkled. Well, it is to me. Plus I don't really want to getup close and personal with Melanoma. Kind of like that family member that you know may show at any second but if there's a way to ignore their existence or simply avoid them EVERY chance you get, you're in. So in addition to fall, I've become SUPER friendly with insomnia. Not really by choice or at least I don't think so though the thoughts that continue to shout in my head while the rest of me longs for sleep may disagree. It's next to impossible to turn off the thoughts. I think about everything before I'm going to bed. It's like my time to sift through the madness and micro-manage the things I need to accomplish or understand. BUT - I'm a writer so the cycle that seems, at first glance, a relatively harmless one soon turns into a whirlwind of chaos and anxiety and storytelling and before I know it I've become the Tasmanian Devil on crack! Like someone sneaks into my head by way of my ears and begins to peel away the layers until all that remain are the pockets of information that were safely stored away. They become freed and untamed and the"control" and "calm" parts of my brain decide they're too tired to help me out. It's maddening. But I do come up with some pretty twisted stories. Onto other things. Recently I have come across a posse of those of questionable character. They have been lovingly referred to as cockblockers. They feast on the likes of those ALREADY the interest of a friend and then, without warning, they swoop in for the kill. Now I realize I'm no guy but it seems to me if someone you knew had a history of, um, cockblocking you, you would find a way to cut that person out. You know, increase your odds? I find it utterly distasteful and I can't believe the girls out there who fall for it. Is it like a power play? You like the guy that doesn't have to work at all to get your attention? You're turned off by the notion that the "primary" friend is actually being respectful and buying you drinks? Wait, oh my god, the girl who falls for the cockblock needs her own name: how about hooker? No, too easy. Um, ninny? No, not strong enough. Shady little temptress who doesn't recognize a good thing when she sees it? YES! That's the name I'll go with. Listen ladies. If you already know which one you're picking, don't be so skanky that you sit back while the object of your in-affection continues to buy you drinks and make you laugh. It's just - well - classless. In the same breath, fellas, you really need to sharpen the radar. If you're buddy has a history of not taking to heart the "bro's before ho's" code, stop being so surprised they did it - AGAIN. Some people just don't have anyone else's interest in mind. They are selfish and self serving and hopefully, their little cockblockng methods will inevitably lead them to many lonely nights of self satisfying. It won't last forever. They're getting older and balder and fatter and way less attractive and even though they might lure some little temptress into their web, she won't be anyone of substance so don't worry, your turn is coming. Just cut out the blocker and up your game. But that's just my take.
