Oh fellas ... I watched you last night working your "game" and I was the one on the receiving end for quite a few of you and this blog, I devote to you.
Let's start with your openers. Putting your arm around my waist and pulling me close to introduce yourself is, well, creepy. I don't find you indulging or "hot" or even much of a "playa" just kind of a sad and desperate attempt at getting laid and well, you're going to have work MUCH harder at it with this girl. The tireless attempt to seem cool or overambitious - there's got to be an in between and I've seen it. Yes, yes I have. I cannot fault you for your efforts because let's face it, we all have to try but some of you - can I just remind you that you ARE NOT 18 anymore? Getting wasted at a kind of upscale event is a little pathetic. I can see taking the edge off for sure. But when you're slurring while ordering another shot ... not so much.
Now don't get me wrong, the ladies last night were equally pathetic. One girl, tall and pretty, was actually so mortifying to watch I apologized on her behalf (and she was a stranger!). This girl ordered 6 drinks and to a rather kind bartender continued to taunt him AFTER getting drinks while at least 80 people waited patiently. She hollered out "Hey, I need two more" and then proceeded to pull out a few singles and wave it in front of the bartender's face and actually said "look, here's a tip for you, come on" - like he was a dog. Yes, ladies and gentleman a dog. Let's get one thing straight girls - just because you're pretty it doesn't give you license to be a) a complete bitch, 2) classless, and 3) giving a bad name to women like me that actually have respect for other human beings working their asses off.
I do have to say that the way to a woman's heart is by humor. And not bad humor, just plain ole funny. Granted most of the funny came from my friends and man I hope they got --- Well, I hope it was successful but ladies and gents, when all else fails just try wit. It's intelligent and fun. BUT learn what wit actually is. Take a little sampler tour of British comedy. It is smart and funny but in truth the girl's you're talking to have to have a brain to get it so if you're looking for shallow, perhaps you did VERY well last night and in that case, I'll just tip my hat to you and say well done.
Also, a little side note to the ladies: how about taking a makeup class! WOW! The cross dressing, over-the-top, heavy handed makeup on the girls last night was nauseating! Yes, physically gross and while I know the men were NOT looking at these girls faces - still! There is something to say about not being able to scrape off the face makeup or dressing yourself like the town Carny. I'm just sayin'.
However as mean as all of this sounds, it is all in good fun. I always find it fascinating to watch human behavior. While some men (and women) had a few good lines and I didn't mind one bit being told I looked beautiful, sitting back and just watching the world of basic primal mating rituals was surely entertaining. It is nice to see how the world around you cleans up!! But men, boys, lads, girls, ladies, lasses, let's work on our approach! Be confident, feel beautiful but actually BE beautiful. Behavior, tact, fun, being easy going - all of these qualities are utterly endearing. I'll work on some real advice when I'm not so tired! For now, remember alcohol does not always equal "cool". Sometimes you take it just a little bit too far and to those of you whose drunken stupor actually got you a little somethin', good on you! Hope it wasn't horrid (as in holy shnike! She looked so much better last night!) when you woke up this morning!!
