"Imagine that your life is a backpack. All of your life is just sitting on your shoulders. Burn it. Burn all of it."
- Up in the Air
Going somewhere and never coming back sounds like heaven.
Today was a burdensome day. I signed my divorce papers, broke up with my boyfriend, maybe made up with my boyfriend, hugged my daughter, had to hear a tale of a woman whose heart had died - and I never felt more lonely. There is a tragic and immobile feeling when the things you believe in seem to flee. I have a tether in my baby and I know that but I think of her when I think of what my mom must have wanted for me. Every mom only wants their child to be happy and succeed but above all, you want your child to have love. To be loved. To love. What a pity to have been given such a big heart only to feel it shrivel and begin to build around it a wall so large and impenetrable nothing can fix it. It's not selfish to feel a little disappointed. I love the gifts I do have in my daughter, my friends, my family - but if when I get to the places I imagine I will go in my lifetime both professionally and personally, what's the point if no one is beside you.
You can't be one foot in and one foot out in anything in this life. If you are, you're always going to find that failure or that feeling of lackluster is there to greet you. I see my daughter's smile and that will always have to be enough.
You can't be one foot in and one foot out in anything in this life. If you are, you're always going to find that failure or that feeling of lackluster is there to greet you. I see my daughter's smile and that will always have to be enough.
