Life is without doubt the most unknown thing any one of us has. I can't waste it dwelling on something that inevitably leads to more question and further doubt so I will open my arms and empty out the hurt in my heart and let it be.
It's Christmas. I have a beautiful, healthy little baby girl that is my ENTIRE world and I have a shot at real love for once in my life. The kind that enlivens you. My daughter, well, she is the reason I am here on this earth. She is the joy, the love, the purpose, the entire ALL for absolutely everything I am or will be. I love her more than life, I love her more than anyone, I cannot imagine a day without her nor will I. In all of the loss and the suffering I may have encountered up until now, it's all worth it when I look at her or hug her or cuddle with her. Nothing beats being her mommy. NOTHING.
Happy Christmas everyone! Appreciate the things you do have. For me, my world may have felt like it crumbled but I have my baby and honestly, nothing else really matters. I also have the glorious knowledge that there are some truly beautiful friends in my life and I have love. Love, in the end, really is all any one of us needs.
Here's to a new year (one in Scotland I may add) and new beginnings all around. No more death, no more suffering from this second on. Everyone will be healthy and happy and only wonderful things shall come. I pray for my daughter to be happy and healthy for a long, long, wonderful life. I want her to outlive me by decades. I want the world for her. Thank god I have her. Thankful for my nieces and nephews as well. Children make life worth living... it has for me.
p.s. I will be more profound after some much needed shut-eye...
