So it’s 10:30p - which sadly, in my world, is late. I am wide awake, listening to Ernie Halter, hoping that something will come over me ... words!!! My brain is infiltrated with world news and American fiscal blunders, the movie “sicko”, the thought of the little girl I want to adopt just out there waiting for me ... where is she? Is she in India? Or is she in Africa? Why can’t I write this screenplay? Why can’t I focus?? Why can’t the world just fix itself and end all of the suffering? Seriously, why isn’t tonight the night to finish this script? How do other people do it? How can I focus on my own selfish task when so much needs to be done? I am pulled away in thought. I am reminded of a past that clings on like tentacles; slippery and unrelenting ... difficult to remove from my brain and impossible to detach from my heart. Regrets? I don’t believe in them. I believe my past - though messy and tragic, beautiful and full of circumstance and chaos - is part of the journey and inevitably who I am. Now One Republic seeps into my ears ... perfect timing. No, apologize I will not. If I have ever broken a heart I can assure you I did it for a reason. To spare you the wasting of time. Change. Change is beautiful and unknown. My heart has been exposed and stomped on like everyone else but somewhere in there no one else is to blame. Everything is my choice. Good or bad. So goes the story of "feeling". I need a cure for distraction! When I'm away I can do anything, write anything. My own environment is filled with to-do's and I think I drank the acai berry blend too late! And I digress ... I need some new music. Something to take me away. Oh, I think I found it. Thank you AR Rahman. Dark, hypnotic, trip-hop mixed with electronica and tradition ... beautiful escapism ... Gotta run! Inspiration finally hit!!!
